Some things are hard

Today was a good day. Got a lot of stuff done, getting ready for Leadership Summit at Woodcrest is no small task, still I feel ready.  What I am finding about today is that I have had to do some hard things. Waiting to hear how things went for mom while not being able to get a hold of anyone was hard, talking to a friend who just had their first chemo treatment...that was really hard, having to go to bed without Brad and our nighttime prayer, well, that is hard too.  None of these things are earth shattering or Mars landing worthy but they are things that matter in my life.  I love my mother-in-law and want to hear that she is better, I love my friends and I don't know how to not look for a positive yet having to understand that the only positive right now is that she will get through this and that there will be difficult days. I love my husband. There is no greater sense of peace then when we climb into bed, say our prayers and I can snuggle in for the night. Safe and together.  I hope he is enjoying My Morning Jacket with Bentley but I am really looking forward to tomorrow when we are back in our routine. Does that make me sound old?

I think about this often.  Don't know why I can't sit still long enough to share what is on my mind or in my heart.  I want to. More for the sake of documentation then because I think anything I say or think has enough weight in the world to matter.  Then I think about the people in my life that I love so dearly and who love me back and I think maybe I do have something to share.  Since I opened my heart to Christ and started working on my self I have been blessed by some amazing relationships.  From the love that has flowed from these bonds I am finding my self worth, my voice and my strength.

Thank you, God!  Thank you for my husband who is growing with me, who stands by me and who continues to love me despite my shortcomings. Thank you for two awesome kids and my sweetest grandson.  Thank you for the incredible series of events that allowed me to work at the church that I love!  Thank you for teaching me to trust and that unconditional love is real.

I have been a bit overwhelmed in the last few weeks and I can't seem to determine the cause.  It has been a busy season but I think it may have more to do with the absence of scripture this summer.  Our Bible study is one of the places I feel the most connected and connecting with C.S. Lewis, though good, has not been the same.  Or maybe it is hearing of a friend beginning her journey with cancer, or perhaps is it my lovely daughter struggling in her relationship.  The stress of learning several new jobs over the past few months, the crazy summer heat that has settled over us this summer or maybe it's just my body and the changes it is going through as I slip into my next season of life.   What ever the reason my heart knows that better days are ahead.  Life is an adventure and a learning process.  And I am finally on a journey that allows me to wake up in the morning excited for the day ahead and anxious to take the next step!