Star Date 022613

I have been inspired. It takes quite a lot to encourage me to allow time for documenting my musings or sharing my life within the confines of a blog-spot but my husband has the power to move me past intent and into action. Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen!  

We have had the pleasure of some snow days over the past week and it has given me some rare downtime at home. I tend to take life at a frantic pace always headed to the next meeting with friends or appointment at work, rarely leaving room for rest or reflection. The stillness I have experienced over the past week has reminded me that there are good arguments for quiet time. I often contend that if we don't leave space for God to speak into our lives we stand little chance of doing His will. How true that is but, at the same time, how hard!  I try to be conscious of whether my next task is something to honor the Lord, would he approve, am I being reverent, helpful, a good messenger. Then the day gets busy and things get messy. There's a misunderstanding or a missed appointment or you have somehow offended your friend by looking at your phone while they are sharing something heavy on their heart. That's when I realize that at some point I took the lead and was saying, 'Come on, God, let's go!'.  

Time to make some changes. I don't imagine it will happen overnight but if I keep talking about it maybe, eventually, I will listen to my own rantings and do something for myself.  This is a good start. Now to keep my intentions realistic, my schedule more flexible, my mind less cluttered and my pace steady.  

Maybe if I keep posting I will stay directed...maybe.

Some things are hard

Today was a good day. Got a lot of stuff done, getting ready for Leadership Summit at Woodcrest is no small task, still I feel ready.  What I am finding about today is that I have had to do some hard things. Waiting to hear how things went for mom while not being able to get a hold of anyone was hard, talking to a friend who just had their first chemo treatment...that was really hard, having to go to bed without Brad and our nighttime prayer, well, that is hard too.  None of these things are earth shattering or Mars landing worthy but they are things that matter in my life.  I love my mother-in-law and want to hear that she is better, I love my friends and I don't know how to not look for a positive yet having to understand that the only positive right now is that she will get through this and that there will be difficult days. I love my husband. There is no greater sense of peace then when we climb into bed, say our prayers and I can snuggle in for the night. Safe and together.  I hope he is enjoying My Morning Jacket with Bentley but I am really looking forward to tomorrow when we are back in our routine. Does that make me sound old?

I think about this often.  Don't know why I can't sit still long enough to share what is on my mind or in my heart.  I want to. More for the sake of documentation then because I think anything I say or think has enough weight in the world to matter.  Then I think about the people in my life that I love so dearly and who love me back and I think maybe I do have something to share.  Since I opened my heart to Christ and started working on my self I have been blessed by some amazing relationships.  From the love that has flowed from these bonds I am finding my self worth, my voice and my strength.

Thank you, God!  Thank you for my husband who is growing with me, who stands by me and who continues to love me despite my shortcomings. Thank you for two awesome kids and my sweetest grandson.  Thank you for the incredible series of events that allowed me to work at the church that I love!  Thank you for teaching me to trust and that unconditional love is real.

I have been a bit overwhelmed in the last few weeks and I can't seem to determine the cause.  It has been a busy season but I think it may have more to do with the absence of scripture this summer.  Our Bible study is one of the places I feel the most connected and connecting with C.S. Lewis, though good, has not been the same.  Or maybe it is hearing of a friend beginning her journey with cancer, or perhaps is it my lovely daughter struggling in her relationship.  The stress of learning several new jobs over the past few months, the crazy summer heat that has settled over us this summer or maybe it's just my body and the changes it is going through as I slip into my next season of life.   What ever the reason my heart knows that better days are ahead.  Life is an adventure and a learning process.  And I am finally on a journey that allows me to wake up in the morning excited for the day ahead and anxious to take the next step!

Star Date 120510

How is it one can love the season but damn the attributes?  Love winter... not the cold.  Can we have winter with 50+ degrees?  Or is that really still fall?  Is winter a date?  December 21st is coming soon.  I guess today is still considered fall.  Perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree (as Bonnie would say).  If fall offers us this kind of cold what will we call the chill that comes with winter?  More blankets and hot tea, please.

Star Date 120110

November proved to be a tough month!  It started with so much promise.... sigh.  Got to keep Trent for a whole week!  Awesome... the day we dropped him off at the lake was the day my mom had someone run a car through the living room.  Then the work load doubled, mistakes were made... was suddenly aware of a meltdown with pricing for the month that never got better... a minor relational meltdown that took some time to heal from... then there was Thanksgiving... not sure Erica was very thanked, or thankful for that matter by the time the turkey hit the table.  For the finale a package was 'lost' at FedEx and I was the one who dropped it.  Invoices were missing along with close to $30k in checks.  All in all a rough month.  Glad to see it past!!   Let's go December!  Show us some love!!

Star Date 110110

A blogger was born.  Today marks the first entry of the Daydream Believer and her army of flying monkeys.  Stay tuned......